Focus Question: Why is precise language important?
Part 1
“For this unit, we will be discussing and reading narrative writing. Narrative writing uses literary devices like dialogue and sensory detail to develop literary elements like characters, setting, plot, and theme. This form of writing creates vivid pictures for readers and often makes a strong emotional connection with its audience. Let’s begin by hearing some narrative writing from an author or two. Listen to how language is used vividly.”
Begin the lesson by reading several paragraphs from a book with a strong narrative and vivid language, such as A Year Down Yonder by Richard Peck or Marcelo in the Real World by Francisco X. Stork. Project the text for the class to view. Point out how the author uses carefully chosen words to create atmosphere and mood. “Word choice is called diction. Thoughtful diction is essential to a powerful narrative.” Explain that a story is more than just a series of events. The author chooses specific words for specific effects. Show examples of how diction is used to build images and characters. Ask students to tell how they feel when they hear the words. “So, what impressions or reactions do you have from the writing? What kinds of vivid language are used?”
Take a few minutes to discuss the writing and the authors with students. Help them locate strong details, sensory imagery, character details, etc. Highlight examples of each in different colors for visual learners. Helping students to discern the different parts of the writing will aid them in replicating this style on their own.
Ask students to define precise in their own words. After sharing a few responses, have one student look up precise in the dictionary and share the definition with the class. Have another student look it up in the thesaurus and share the synonyms. Point out that a synonym for precise is exact. Explain that precise words are powerful because they help readers to see, hear, smell, taste, touch, or imagine exactly what the author wanted the readers to experience.
Part 2
List the following words for the class. Using walk as an example, say that walk is a general word that tells about movement, but that many more specific, precise words can show how someone walked, such as strolled, strode, and shuffled. Use the words in sentences—such as “The student strode to the lectern to make a speech,” or “The student shuffled to the lectern to make a speech”—and ask students how changing one word evokes a different tone. “What is your idea of the student in the first sentence as compared to the second?” As a class, brainstorm words that are more powerful and precise than these:
Ask students to compose sentences using some of the precise words. Compare the words and their effects in the sentence by inserting both nonspecific and more precise words, and reading both versions of the sentence. Talk about how the image you receive as a reader changes depending on the word choice. This demonstrates to students how precise word choice affects tone. Tell students that they will be using precise language when they develop their own stories later in the unit. It may help to circulate around the room as students work on the exercise, to ask them questions about what is precise and exact. As they narrow their language, they will see how specificity can be gained simply by taking the time to focus and find the right words.
Facilitate the precise-language activity (LW-7-3-1_Precise Language Activity.docx). Put students in pairs to complete the precise-language note cards. Students need to replace the vague words with specific nouns or verbs. Once they are done, have students transfer their words by matching the letter in the upper left corner of each card to the letter in the parentheses on the fill-in-the-blank worksheet. Ask for volunteers to share the funniest or most bizarre sentences with the class.
Assign the Precise Language Assignment (LW-7-3-1_Precise Language Assignment.docx). Use this to evaluate how well students comprehend writing precisely. Again, it can be helpful to circulate around the room to assist students who find the concept difficult. When students are finished, ask for volunteers to share answers and have all students add to their sheets. This sharing of additional ideas can improve everyone’s writing vocabulary.
Part 3
“You have heard some examples of vivid narrative writing, and you have examined sentences to create precise language. Now we’ll discuss how precise language can be used to show or to tell. I am going to read two passages. The passages are about the same events, but the events are described in different ways. Close your eyes while I read. Try to form a picture of what I read in your head.” Share two passages with students. The first passage should be a “showing” passage from a novel or short story. The second passage should be a “telling” version of the first passage. Ask students what the author of the first passage did that the author of the second passage did not do. Guide students to respond with words such as details, imagery, exaggeration, and action. Passage suggestions:
- Passage one: Use the first three paragraphs of chapter six of Flush by Carl Hiaasen.
Passage two: When Abbey was a baby, she had the bad habit of biting. None of us liked it. She would bite our arms, and one time she even bit a marble.
- Passage one: Use the first 12 sentences of the chapter titled “Los Higos” in Esperanza Rising by Pam Muñoz Ryan.
Passage two: That night it was windy. Esperanza had a nightmare about a bear. When the bear was about to suffocate her, Esperanza awoke. Even though she was awake, Esperanza was frightened. Then someone said her name.
- Passage one: A well-developed passage from a story or novel with which students are familiar.
Passage two: A simplified/“telling” version of passage one.
Teach the difference between showing and telling with the Show; Don’t Tell! Strategies handout (LW-7-3-1_Show; Don't Tell Strategies.docx). “Writers learn that there is a real difference between showing a story and telling a story. Telling uses basic language to simply explain action as it takes place in a narrative. By comparison, writing that shows takes the same events and uses sensory details, thoughts, emotions, and precise words to make the story vivid.” Read through the strategies and discuss them with students.
“Let’s return to the examples I read.” Project or display a class copy of the texts. “In the first passage, where does the author show by using action?” Read the text aloud and highlight examples for students. “Where does the author show by using dialogue?” (Highlight.) “Where does the author show by using imagery?” (Highlight.) Have students repeat this process for the second passage, telling you where to highlight on a class copy. For the third passage, have students identify these areas on their own, write them down, and hand them in. Check for understanding.
Part 4
Hand out the Show; Don’t Tell assignment (LW-7-3-1_Show; Don't Tell Assignment.docx). Explain to students that they will practice using different showing strategies to respond to sentences that tell. Have students share their writing in groups. Before collecting students’ writing, ask for volunteers to share their “showing” paragraphs with the whole class. Remind students that they will be using “show; don’t tell” strategies in their narrative essays. “As we go around the room to share our writing with our groups, listen to the variety of ways we can show. Some of you will use a lot of sensory detail; others will use lots of dialogue, and others might primarily use precise words. The point is you have many, many options. Part of the enjoyment in narrative writing is discovering the best way to ‘paint a picture’ for your audience.” Choose three examples to highlight and display for the class.
Extension:
- Ask students to find examples of precise language in the book(s) they are currently reading.
- Give students an anonymous list of vague sentences collected from students’ previous essays. Ask students to revise the vague sentences, using precise language.
- Read the picture book Show; Don’t Tell!: Secrets of Writing by Josephine Nobisso to the class.
